aoconnell@thestamfordtimes.com

STAMFORD — Melissa Ricks got into college; now she stays up nights wondering how she'll pay for it. Marisa Torres gets five hours of sleep on a good night and is never without her daily planner. Erica Leguerre feels like she's juggling her schoolwork with her social life and her extracurriculars.

"It hasn't been easy," she said. "I believe being responsible takes a lot of commitment."

The answer? A very polite request for parents to give teens some space.

"If we need help, we will ask," said Allie Levine, a senior at Stamford High. "(Parents) just think we need help that we don't always need."

Billy Jaroszynski, a Stamford High senior, agreed.

"Times have changed," he said. "We're learning things you're not up to date with. Sometimes we do need help, but you can't give it to us the way we need it."

The panel discussion is the latest of Superintendent Joshua Starr's community forums. He wanted to give parents a chance to connect with teenagers who are not necessarily their own children.

"We spend a lot of time talking about our kids, we spend a lot of time talking to our kids and sometimes we spend a lot of time pointing fingers at our kids," said Starr. "How can we build a bridge with them so that we can help them achieve?"

The dialogue, moderated by the district's executive director of youth development, Joe O'Callaghan, covered topics ranging from the busy schedules of the teens to grades to family to dating.

Often the topics intermeshed — Jaroszynski says he's been dating his girlfriend for nine months now, but chooses not to spend too much time with her because he is involved with so many activities.

"I don't want to have any regrets," he said.

Regrets are also a concern for Stamford High senior Torres, who described herself as "very competitive" and says her schedule of school, scholarship applications, clubs and sports have her going to get coffee several times a week and sometimes sleeping through first period.

"I'm always fighting with the clock," she said. "But I know if I drop something I'll always wonder what door I closed from walking away from that activity and I don't want any regrets."

O'Callaghan asked the teens if they think their parents know that their teenagers need to learn how to strike out on their own.

"I think they know, but they don't want to accept it," said Carolina Espejo, of Westhill. She said that parents are afraid their kids were fail but said that she and other teens need to fail every once in a while so that they can learn from their mistakes.

"Our parents were teens too," said Levine. "Every generation has gone through this. They know. There's no way to deny that they know."